While you're slogging away over SODA submissions

The following excerpt might prove useful in your introductions:

Any resemblance between the following views and those of the University, my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the below and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.)

(Via Sudipto Guha)